Part 84: Turn 72

Turn 72

Anglia claimed a throne, that's good news! The more they can take from U the better.


Let's see which throne it was, it was the east lake one. That U just took back from them, and that is now unclaimed again. Not so good news.


I thought I'd quickly grab a level of blood to help Joaquin Phoenix's Oscar in combat (Reinvigoration is always nice) but then I forgot to give him any slaves anyway so it probably didn't matter. I'm sure he'll have done fine anyway.


Let's find out shall we! Even if we don't win we should roast a lot of feet and we can call him back in just a turn or two for another go.


Here's us and all our ablative bugs, so far so good!


Uh, where are all the feet? There's nobody here! They couldn't possibly have teleported away there was no lab in the province!


There's an enemy fortress here, that has yet to be besieged and conquered? NO THERE IS FUCKING NOT!


FUCK OFF


FUCK


OFF


I am SO mad. How on earth did U predict that THIS turn I'd jump on them and THIS turn was the turn that they needed to construct that fort? And the army of feet isn't even stuck inside the fort they somehow snuck out of the back door and moved on as normal! I have been so incredibly and completely owned. And our god is, once again, stuck on another fucking fort! Ahhhhhh


Well this poor lady got shot too, should have been funnier and then you'd have more HP.


There was an assassination attempt this turn too, a poor dog chief got eaten by...this...thing. What is it with all these things with feebleminding attacks in this game? I guess we know what has been causing all the insanity.



A dog chief is one thing, but an Ancient Clown is a loss we'll feel keenly.


It even gets a hit in! Luckily we resist the feebleminding.


Bonk.



Looks like U has started invading the old mantis lands.



This is hardly a surprise, and honestly not a big deal at all since there's absolutely no thrones in this part of the world. They're welcome to it.


Just what is the Chasos AI doing?



They've got a massive bloody stack of feet incoming on their thrones and they're going after me? Typical AIs.


Meanwhile our encroach on U's throne is going, uh, okay. Our bigger force got a bit closer and our smaller force got picked off.



Jeez look at that other stack next door! We'd better prepare for a big fight.


More guys with feeblemind attacks show up but at least they hit the middle of nowhere in mantis lands so we don't care.


Okay. So. I know this looks pretty bad for us but we're still not out yet. First order of business is to take that bloody candle province and so we're combining two of our forces and will be ready to storm it next turn.


Additionally just north of that candle it's the easiest throne to access and so we've got a big force moving onto that too. About 40 enormous clowns, a few ancient clowns, a few normal clowns, you know the drill. The big spells I've got scripted are: relief, howl, battle fortune, and then a shitload of thunderstrikes, clown buffs, body ethereal, and soul slay.


Additionally there has just been a new patch which included "Stat bonuses from larger now stack with other enlargements" so I'm hoping that this means that I can now actually use this clown spell Enhance Comicality which I have previously been unable to use because it didn't stack with the larger bless. It's only aoe 1 so I think that it doesn't make the bless a bad choice or anything but I'm looking forward to size 6 enormous flying zooming clowns!


Despite the bad results last time we're going to mind hunt as hard as we can at that lake throne that U took from anglia in order to try and snipe whoever is going to claim the throne. Looking again at the turn order I don't think we can prevent the claim but if U is short on H3 priests that might work out really well in the future.
We're going to cast Murdering Winter at that massive foot stack that dodged our god. It does 8 damage per unit, that I think is plus or minus 1 for each heat or cold scale in the province but versus 3 hp feet even though it's warm it should devastate them. Their bless can't help them outside of combat! Plus the cold damage will be good versus imps too. For future reference our scouting shows 1150 units in that province this turn.


We also have two final forces that we could use - a mage teleport attack mostly led by ancient clowns which we're forging some items for, and then our force of imaginary clowns. The trouble though is that their casting requirements and cost are so high that even now we can't effectively mass them. Also movement teleport and ritual teleport do not work together at all so unfortunately the teleporting ancient clowns can't fight together with the imaginary clowns.